Dec 04, 2020
In Lucid Dreaming
This might be a long post. First off, hi, I'm new here - I'm choosing to go by Lys for now. For close to two years now I've been experiencing entities and odd sensations in my dreams. My first experience was alarming, as it wasn't a physical thing that appeared, but rather a sensation of... Rolling off a seesaw? Of perceiving reality to be flipped over, to slip off the edge of "something" and fall upside-down yet upright into the abyss. I don't know how to describe it much better than that. I should say that I've never read Lovecraft. I don't know the Mythos well, or at all really. I am here because I went looking for something similar to these things I see and experience in my dreams, and a friend described the first entity I saw as "Lovecraftian," which prompted my initial research into Lovecraftian horror, which led me here. I first saw an entity about a year ago. I cannot describe it (and that's not just me trying to sound Lovecraftian, I promise - I cannot describe it). It was a normal dream, then it just... Appeared. Staring at me, or at least facing me, because I'm not sure it had eyes. It's face folded in on itself infinitely, it was a shifting semi-humanoid shaped mass of nothing. This entity is the one my friend told me sounded "Lovecraftian." It just stared at me as the rest of my dream faded away until I felt lost in its infiniteness. This sounds dramatic or like an acid trip but I swear I've never even seen a hallucinogenic drug and I'm describing it exactly as it happened (as best I can). About 6-7 months ago I perceived a second, different entity. I say perceived because I did not see this one directly. Much like the first, it "appeared" in a normal dream. I did not see it because it was simply a presence in the back of my mind. Something was behind my dreaming self, slowing starting to circle me. I experienced a second "flipping" sensation then, but this time of my own volition - I rotated the void to address the entity, to place it's consciousness "in front" of me. It was still not visible, but I knew it was there. I prompted it, almost telepathically, to tell me what it wanted. It did the invisible ominous entity version of what would probably be a shrug (god I know I sound so corny but I don't know the words to use), and responded in the vein of "I'm here to see what you would do." It didn't respond in words, that's just the vibe I got from its response, I suppose. Nothing ever happens after seeing the entities, I don't feel threatened or scared, just intrigued and alarmed at how they give off the strong impression of just... Not belonging. Usually when you see weird things in a dream you don't think about it, but these things and sensations don't seem like dreams, really, and they certainly don't feel like something my sleeping brain "came up" with. They feel like they manifested on their own. I haven't had any notable encounters with any entities since, though I often experience strange twisting, or flipping, or vertigo sensations (I can assure you I don't suffer from any physical vertigo, it's not a physical sensation so much as the subconsciousness dream equivalent of it). Upon some very basic initial research, I would like the feeling of it to what Azathoth is "described" to look like. Just.... Purely incomprehensible twists and turns of vastness. Has anyone here experienced something similar? Am I in the right place? Standard "dream interpretation" sites have been no help, and rather than researching from a distance I wanted to reach out to you all directly. I'm sorry this is so long, and I'm sorry if this has nothing to do with the cult or your mythos. I'm just looking for answers.