What are you looking for¿

That's very interesting, I wish I had had an invite to experience that when I was in Russia. I'm hoping you share some more about it.

If you feel interest in the cult and are asking if you belong or if you should join, than I recommend you check out my pinned post on the Welcome tab if these forums, entitled “For Those Seeking Affirmation.” Depending on how your feelings correlate to what is described there, then you may consider purchasing a copy of the Bible of Cthulhu and beginning your study’s for the initiation course.