Hello everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself.
My name is Christopher, I'm quite new to all this and both very afraid and excited. I started having a reoccurring nightmare a few months ago, it always started and ended the same way and it was quite horrible, I even went to the doctors about it however they just said its because of my fear of large bodies of water.
After doing more research I started stumbling across things about Cthulhu, who before then I didn't know of, the deeper into all this I go the, the louder and more real the dream gets. I believe this is where I am supposed to be.
I'm excited to get to know everyone, being around those who feel the same things I do makes me a lot more comfortable at night, and is very reassuring after the nightmares. If anyone has any suggestions of dealing with these feelings they'd be much appreciated.
I recommend you read my post on the Welcome page, "For Those That Seek Affirmation" as well as some of the other texts on this site to make sure, but I reckon you have beared Witness to the Call. Welcome home, Brother. Take to this site and its resources and begin your studies. And once you're feeling well read, it is recommended you begin initiation, which in this digital age has been helpfully consolidated to an online course: https://eliademy.com/app/a/courses/834c66f2c2
A little nudge to get your started: the first step for many, if not all, is the understand of the deeper principles of the Cthulhu Mythos and most of the Lovecraftian literature dealing with the search for esoteric knowledge. I am primarily referring to "Cosmicism," the philosophy that states not only is the universe infinite, but it is without divine presence. You may read more about it in the aforementioned post, but above all else this is the big thing to understand should you belong to the Cult - We study the religions for the nonreligious, and hold a strong antithesis to organized religion [1]. If this principle cannot be both understood and accepted, than you may not belong here, and the validity of your experience with the Call may have been misinterpreted and not genuine - for those that truly have beared Witness are also those best fit to accept and understand truths such as Cosmicism.
[1] While it is completely possible and rational for a fellow Cultist to respect the Judaeo-Christian ethic, eastern philosophies, the teachings of Muhammed, etc. it is agreed that modernized/organized religious institutions have corrupted those beliefs in the name of greed and to make up for countless atrocities throughout history. You can respect a man while believing his philosophy is wrong and the institution of his philosophy is damned, so long as this is not confused or adapted into a respect or following of that philosophy/institution. There is no god, and the institutions that say otherwise are simply wrong.
Thanks for the reply
All of this has been very helpful and much appreciated, I'll take your advice and think about what you said. Thanks for the help.
I can't give you a magic pill, but I can tell you I too suffered from extreme thalassophobia when younger. Mostly because I grew up near the ocean, and seared into my mind was a respect of how dangerous it could be. Not to mention as a 5 year old, I saw what was living just on the surface of that vast void. What worked for me (maybe for you, maybe not, nothing is certain) is I learned to scuba dive. It was very much a "face your fears head on" type of thing, and it doesn't work for everyone. What I discovered was that my fear was based on how alien that world is compared to ours, but through exposure I came to find beauty in it.